Fan You was born in the late 1920s to a poor Hakka family in the village of Nanjin, Lufeng Guangdong. According to him, his father was Fan Zude (courtesy name Guangxun Gong), who had a little education in his youth and knew a little medicine. His mother was Peng Qiaoma, and although uneducated, she was naturally gifted and known in the village as a skilled weaver and embroiderer. Illness and poverty led his parents to pass away in succession when Fan You was eight and fourteen.

Fan You was eighth of nine siblings, with two older brothers, five older sisters, and one younger brother. His eldest brother and sister-in-law died in their youth from famine, while his second eldest brother, having injured his arm while playing, became disabled and also passed away early. The youngest of his sisters lived in Hepo County until the advanced age of ninety-two, while his younger brother moved to Sanya, Hainan and also lived past ninety years old.

Grandfather’s name was originally Fan Wenyou. Due to a lack of food, Grandfather was adopted at a young age to his second paternal uncle to make a living. Frail and sickly, his name was changed to Fan Chenyou in dedication to the Chen family shrine. This was because the village had enshrined the men of the Chen, Lin, and Li families, and they hoped that by naming him a son of Chen, the ancestors would bless him with their protection. Around age four, Grandfather’s second uncle passed away. It is said that his aunt asked him to wake his uncle for a meal, but his uncle did not respond. Little as he was, he immediately began to cry loudly. Afterwards, his aunt praised Grandfather for his intelligence, since he had understood life and death at such a young age. With no one else to rely on, Grandfather had no choice but to become a labourer for the local landlord. As the name of the landlord’s son also included the character “Chen”, the landlady ordered him to remove “Chen” from his name so that he would simply be called “Ah-You”. This was how his name came to be.

Grandfather could endure hardship, but as he told Grandmother, being a long-term labourer was truly harsh. When he was eight he was made to herd cattle, and slept alone in the wilderness with the oxen each night. At age fourteen, when his mother fell gravely ill, he was allowed two days’ leave to return home, after which he also fell severely ill. Grandfather was not a picky eater, but he said that once during the New Year, one of the landlords fed the labourers steamed buns made from hog feed, and he could not eat even a single bite.

Grandfather said that although he never went to school, he had a few opportunities to learn. There was an elder in the village he called Uncle Yushu who had attended private school and would teach the village children to read. Grandfather said that was how he learned the phrase “Shang da ren, Kong Yiji.” Occasionally, he also worked for an educated household and helped deliver mail for Hepo Middle School's principal, which exposed him to a taste of modern education.

To others, Grandfather’s childhood may have seemed very bitter, but he was never crushed by hardship. Instead, it forged in him an unyielding and optimistic spirit. Before Liberation, he joined the army by a chance introduction. After Liberation, Grandfather worked in Huangpu where he met Grandmother while she was visiting her older sister and brother-in-law. According to Grandmother, she had only intended to stay for two to three weeks before returning home, but her brother-in-law knew Grandfather was single and approved of his character, so he introduced them. They fell in love at first sight, and so she stayed in Huangpu where the two were married soon after. Grandmother said that Grandfather treated everyone equally, loved making friends, and was well-liked by everyone—the same traits that helped them cultivate a happy marriage.

Grandmother said when their daughter was born, Grandfather wrote her a letter saying that when he heard the news, he could not resist running outside to shout at the sky with joy, for he could hardly believe that he now had a daughter of his own. After he was discharged, Grandfather was assigned to work at a farm. Grandmother settled down with him and they had a son and another daughter. She said that Grandfather would always be home in time to eat with family, and loved feeding his three children bite by bite.

Grandfather often proudly told us that, because the overseer at the farm knew he had herded cattle when he was young, he was sent to Hainan Island to source dairy cows, helping improve food security during those difficult years. In the following decades, he held various roles in public security until his retirement from a Guangzhou petrochemical plant. After retiring, Grandfather lived a free and fulfilling life, travelling, resting, and having dim sum with his former colleagues.

With the birth of me and my cousin, his life became busy again. Grandmother said that every morning Grandfather would get up and wash my diapers. I vaguely remember that when I was little and we all lived in my grandparents' house, Grandfather would make breakfast for everyone. He often took me out for dim sum, and would always order the beef meatballs I loved. He was kind and gentle, and very attentive to his grandchildren. I remember when I was very young and taking naps with him, Grandfather and Grandmother would tuck a small towel behind my back perhaps because Guangzhou was hot, and they were worried that I would be covered in sweat. When I woke up, the towel would stick out a little from my shirt, and he would chase after me saying I had grown a little tail, teasing me until I burst out laughing. Grandfather and Grandmother immigrated to Canada just before I entered third grade. After that, I most looked forward to receiving their letters and calling them during the holidays.

Ten years passed in an instant. When I was eighteen, accompanied by Grandmother and Grandfather who had returned to see relatives in China, my cousin and I travelled to Canada, fulfilling my long-awaited dream of living and studying there. Grandfather took great care of the two of us, making us feel at home even on the other side of the world. He would hold a map and show us step-by-step how to take the bus to school. Every day he went out to find high-quality, affordable ingredients for Grandmother to cook tasty meals for us. When it snowed overnight in the winter, he would always get up before us to shovel the snow so that we would not be late for school. Grandfather also cooked often, and we all loved his thin and crispy stir-fried potato strips.

Grandfather was gentle and kind, and I never saw him lose his temper. He only seriously reprimanded me twice: once to remind me to choose my friends carefully, and another time to drink less. He often encouraged us to study, reciting “Books enclose golden houses, books enclose jade-faced beauties.” In saying this, he was not encouraging us to pursue fame and fortune, but rather, simply reminding us that knowledge has the power to change one’s destiny.

In my eyes, Grandfather was both ordinary and great. He was ordinary in that his life mirrored the lives of so many poor people born in China during that era. Yet with his steadfast determination, optimistic spirit, and amiable nature, he paved the way for us and shielded us from wind and rain, creating wonderful lasting memories and inspiring me to bravely advance on the path of life.